When it comes to mucking it up, it’s hard to beat these stories…

1) Well, let’s see.  McCain says the economy is “slowing.” Someone in his campaign needs to wake him up and tell him it’s almost come to a complete stop.  Of course, it’s hard to know that when your wife is worth $100M or so and you’re riding around in Secret Service vehicles all day. 

1a) Balanced budget?  When?  According to McCain, it could be 2012, 2017, or, quite possibly, never. 

2) South Carolina has decided that the Constitution means nothing, so the state will go ahead with “Christian" license plates, ignoring all other religions and the other sane folk who happen to “not believe.” Here’s the thing:  anyone can plaster their bumpers with stickers proclaiming their love of Jesus, the unborn, church, God, Jerry Falwell, the sanctity of marriage.  They can even put a Jesus fish magnet on their trunk or drive around with red tape on their mouths (or a gag ball) to show support for Terri Schiavo.  I don’t give a shit.  But, a license plate?  It’s not going to happen.  Then again, if McCain makes it to the White House, his Supreme Court just might decide otherwise. 

3) All of a sudden, prayer rooms are “essential" at work.  Look for one near you.  Funnay, I thought work was for that - work - and not for goofing off on your knees.

4) In honor of the world food crisis, the G8 leaders sat down for an eight-course, 19-dish meal.  Times are tough everywhere.  I wonder if they even had dessert. 

Screw all them.  NOBODY does it like Shirley B., bitches.